Recently, I had the honor of attending The Black Women’s Voices in the Age of #MeToo symposium at UT Austin where the #MeToo Founder, Tarana Burke was the keynote speaker. The evening provided enlightening and thought-provoking information in deed.

The audience was filled with students, community activists, faculty, and members of the public, with male and female alike. As I listened to the speech it became apparent that there is much more that I could do to support this movement and that #MeToo is growing in numbers and support, both financial and otherwise.

As an African-American Woman, I know that there is a huge difference between me and my caucasian counterparts. The difference is so clear and transparent because I choose to see it as it is, not as I would like for it to be. There are many experiences of discrimination that I could list here, but that is for another post. How and where I was raised has a lot to do with the way in which I handle myself; I do pretty well in very toxic, unwarranted situations. I do have friends who are different from me, and I do not use the word friend lightly. I never thought of myself as a racists, but can spot one a mile away.

When I think about the Women’s Movements such as my Empowerment Blog, #MeToo, #Women’s March, #Times Up, ad infinitum, the appearance is that these groups are focused on all Women. When I attended the event at UT and listen to Women talk about the various movements for Women, at times the conversations appeared to be racially divided.  I believe that has a lot to do with the fact that the country and many places in the world are still racially divided.

How do we as women expect to gain leverage in becoming equals or being treated differently when we do not stand together in a united front? Yes, there are groups that do and some celebrities are inter-racially united, however from a holistic standpoint, we have a very long way to go. We still discriminate against each other, but expect men to be non-discriminating against us. Some women voted for #45 because they did not want to vote for a woman. Really?!

In my humble opinion, before women can ask others to treat us with respect and equality, we must learn to be united and treat each other the way we want to be treated. I have never been one for the pettiness and triviality of cat-like behavior and really don’t have the tolerance for it. If I see something, I say something. If I can give someone a compliment or encouraging word, I do it. If I can be supportive without bias, I am there. It would be nice to see more of this on a larger scale than we do now. It just seems like the situation that is focused on regarding disrespect, racism, and discrimination is very prevalent amongst women.

Change starts at home, right where you are. If we want to be united, it is very easy to do. The question is, do we really want it? Are Women really united? It feels divided. Kudos to those who are the change agents. My prayer is that we all can follow the trailblazers who continue to set the positive examples of All Women being united, not either one group or the other.

Peace and Love,

Grace Sowtrue

Stay Woke or Wake Up?

Often, Women especially those of color have to endure a lot to survive in the world. We have to pretend that what our normal experience may be, does not exist. There are times when the “entitled” sit in rooms and glare at us based on the color of our skin or gender. We are passed over for promotions that are well-earned and deserved, but never received. I hear people say “stay woke” a lot, but don’t you have to be awake to stay that way. Women in solidarity, no matter the color of your skin is needed. For some reason, beyond my comprehension, we (Women) do not stick together as we should. Before I get hit by the trolls, I cannot speak for “all” women (that would be impossible); this is based on my experience and those who have shared with me.

There is a common theme that needs to be addressed and not ignored. Endurance is not what I was put on this earth to do on a daily basis (neither were you). Below are a couple of examples that may enlighten some to take a stand for what is right. Some may fear that if they speak up then service will be refused or a job lost. Focus on the positive and know that when one door closes, another always opens. Take a look at where you have been and remember that it can always be better and in some cases, it already is. I heard a celebrity, who is a woman of color, say that she has not experienced racism ever. Did I mention she is from Georgia? Racism is real, alive and kicking. Masked as patronizing, stereotypes, and downright refusal of rights.

Workplace

In the workplace, there is harassment, racism, and sexism that is very common and often a norm that people don’t talk about. Do you ever wonder why there are Diversity departments and programs in many organizations, yet they say that fair practices are administered to all? Has anyone ever gone to HR and report a “diversity” issue,  and was betrayed? You find out that the HR representative is besties with your manager or they are pretentious social climbers who would do just about anything for a promotion? Or you know that sexism and racism that exists, but do not talk about it, and neither does anyone else?

Where do we go from here? If everyone one of us would speak out and address what we experience, then others may not have to experience the same. I know that preaching to the choir is what is always done, but isn’t it just time to do something different. Women in the workplace, especially in managerial positions may not think that the bias applies to them, but it does. No matter what position you hold in your organization, they are keeping you right where they want you. Those of you who have spoken the truth, and decided to look out for other Women in the workplace, Thank you!

Social Outings

Have you ever watched the salesperson treat a customer a certain way and then when it is your turn, the same is not offered to you? What about your dining experience? Is the wait staff as friendly to you as they are to other patrons? Do you have an unpleasant experience when out in a social atmosphere? I could go on with these questions, but I am sure you get the gist. While dining out, which should be an enjoyable experience, one should not have to endure anything negative.

The Need for Change

Endurance states that it is “the ability to withstand hardship or adversity; especially: the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort or activity.  Based on this definition, who wants to experience this everyday? Breaking the cycle is never easy, but can be done. What are you going to do differently? Are you ready for a change?

We would like to hear about your thoughts and experience. Share with other as you may never know who needs to hear what you have to say.

Peace & Love,

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group – Women’s Empowerment Forum

therjgroupinfo@gmail.com

On a Saturday afternoon in Austin, Texas, many women embraced solidarity and came out to support something spectacular! Although the group was small, it was a big deal! We shared information, had refreshments and some enjoyed a glass of wine! A massage therapist was on hand to rub out the week to assist the ladies in winding down.

We had a Yogi grace our presence and demonstrate pranayama (breathing) techniques and to share about yoga off the mat. Thank you, Melanie of Grow Your Love Space! It was a pleasure having you participate in the Wind Down and demonstrate that it is all about the breath! In addition, she expelled the myth that Yoga is just a physical exercise; it is much, much more! The ladies communicated their interest in your yoga instruction on the North side of town. We will be waiting to hear from you! Melanie is an Instagram Lady! Check her out  @growyourlovespace! Namaste’

There were two beauty consultants on hand to take the Wind Down a step further. Keesha Nix, Mary Kay Beauty Consultant shared her wares and beauty products with those who stopped by her display table; contact Keesha at keeshanix@marykay.com. Kimily Johnson, a Mary Kay and MakeUp Eraser Consultant of TYB Glamour Boutique  had bath balls, body butter, and more to share with us! The MakeUp Eraser was intriguing to me as it saves money and I can throw it in the washer once per week! Bye-bye wipes (yes, I bought one)! Kimily has a FB page and can be reached via email kimily.tyb@gmail.com. Both Keesha and Kimily were very supportive and empowering for the occasion! Kudos!!

Our Resident Fitness and Empowered Living Coach, Andrea Wiggins “Strong” provided info on her new on demand videos, Fitness Coaching, and  overall health and wellness. Of all the interest and attention given to Andrea’s talk, we may have to start an Empowered Women’s Fitness class facilitated by Andrea! She certainly empowered the women in a Strong way!

For more info, visit her site https://www.andreawigginsstrong.com/

All of the women brought knowledge to this Wind Down and kindred spirits were bound. We all had a great time! New relationships were born, information exchanged, and relaxation was definitely the order of the day. It was a calm, peaceful space and the mood was “Chill”! Shout out to some of the other attendees: Virtuous Styles By Q-Natural Hair Guru, Shelley Moncoeur of Natural Effects Hygiene, Our fabulous traveling Massage Therapist Sonya Benjamin, LMT, Tiffany Owens of Now We No, Daichan Sykes, and Jacquece Shantell Gray.

I host events like this one on an annual or bi-annual basis. It means a lot when we all can come together to empower one another and stand (or relax) in solidarity. We all want to do this again soon, so stay tuned for our next event! Just ask these empowered women, they will tell you that this event was one that you should not have missed, and be sure to attend the next one!

As always, we want to hear more about your Empowered Woman Story! If you would like to share about someone who you have Empowered or has done the same for you, send us a photo with your story or tape a video! Women need to hear from other women!

In Light and Much Love,

Namaste’,

Dr. Melanie aka Grace Sowtrue

therjgroupinfo@gmail.com

In 1997, Tarana Burke met a young girl who was being abused by her mother’s boyfriend. In 2006, Tarana Burke founded Just Be Inc., an organization that focuses on the health, well-being and wholeness of brown girls everywhere! Shortly thereafter, she brought forth the “me too.” movement to raise awareness of abuse in our society. This movement was recently popularized through Twitter and now is an international movement. It took a celebrity to make noise to get awareness that it so rightly deserves. It is amazing what it takes in our society to do the right thing. 10 years ago, Twitter and Facebook were not the real-time “social feeds” that they are today.

A lot of women have been harassed in some way, and probably don’t know that they were. Harassment can be subtle or bold, it is what it is. I have personally witnessed inappropriate behavior demonstrated in the workplace, and like others, the victim felt that saying something would threaten their security. So, they remained silent and then it continued to happen to them and others.

When all of the chatter started a few months ago after the Hollywood and Political attackers were named, I thought about how long this has really been happening. Women have been sexually harassed in the workplace and in general for centuries. Rape was minimized or dismissed, because she was either asking for it or dressed in a provocative manner, to name a few reasons. Young girls and boys have been molested by family friends, neighbors, and relatives for a very long time too. I guess timing is everything, and it takes what it takes. Well,it is about time!

I hope that the #MeToo. movement does not fizzle and whatever we as a society have to do to keep this in the forefront, I hope it happens, and I am in! Someone posted a tweet stating that men and boys need to know that women and girls are to always be respected, no matter what. It would be a good supportive initiative to have a list of inappropriate behavior available, because some may not be “clear” on what that is. Once it is made known, they can no longer use that excuse.

Thank you, Tarana Burke for this movement and I hope you continue to speak out and up for those who may not be able to do so. I can add my name to #MeToo. No need to go into details. As is with others, I spoke up and was dismissed. It was a long time ago, but it happened. Some are made to feel shame or guilt as if it is their fault when encountered with inappropriate sexual behavior. Know that it is not and you have a right to speak up or not. The choice is yours.

Women are extremely powerful and can Empower others. Tarana Burke is one of those women.

#MeToo.

In Light and Love,

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group

While conducting research for this post I listened to video talks, read blog posts, and scrolled through many pictures. Then the thought crossed my mind “you have learned from and know many powerful women, write about them.” That is what I will do here, write about my experience with the women who have impacted my life the most. The picture posted is my mother, Jean, and grandmother, Juanita, who both represent the power I really would like to have. I named this blog using their initials and those of my father’s mother, and grandmother’s mother. All are women of power.

My mother and grandmother were born in an era when it was a blatant fact that the color of their skin represented a painful existence. The issues they had to face are unimaginable to me. Even with the current state of affairs in this country where true feelings are being exposed regarding racism due to #45’s constant opposition to equality for all.

My mother raised her children the best way she knew how. My parents were together for over 20 years when my father decided to leave his marriage and us; I was turning eight that year. They were not rich, but we lived in a house that my parents owned and there was always food to eat and clothes to wear. She was a powerful woman, very wise, and loved by many. She did her part and his, kept our house and worked two jobs. She taught us about respect, and integrity. She also let me know that I could do anything, nothing was stopping me.

The relationship my grandmother had with her daughter, my mother, was like a sister; they were very close. I won’t go into details about how they arrived here, however, certain circumstances they both experienced brought them to this place. They loved each other. My grandmother owned her home, with her husband. They had very little means, but managed to have a life worth living. These ladies, based on what I know about them, are the most powerful women I know. I keep them in the forefront of my mind as I embark on opportunities and privileges that were not available for them at the age I was when my career began. Sure, some may say that it was, but there were only a few who were integrated into the corporate world during their time, only a few.

The Power of a woman is within us all. Many have different circumstances such as lack of role models other than what they see on tv; no faith in themselves due to socioeconomic  status; someone told them that they had to be where they are and there is nothing else, and they believe it; some who have moved forward, feel fearful of reaching back to give a hand; there are also those who blame some women for their circumstances and believe they can get out if they tried; some don’t take the time to learn the stories of others, and judge their circumstances. The list goes on ad infinitum.

Other women with power that I know have mirrored my mother and grandmother by taking nothing and making something out of it. They have forged ahead because they knew that doing so was the order of that day and any other day for that matter. These women have children in their care, employment demands, and life situations that show up no matter what. Some go to school to learn more and earn more; others want to change their careers and venture into college all the while there are mouths to feed and a paycheck to earn. There are others who break barriers that have been established for women, and make a powerful noise when doing so.

Power in women is not something strange, it is what we as women have to tap into in order to get what we need and want. It is there for the taking, you can embrace your power. You will be amazed at what life has to offer. Believe it! Realize it! Seize it! Take your life to the next level with your power, it is all yours. Never let anyone tell you what cannot happen, because we all know what does happen when the power within is brought forward. See it all around you. Look at the examples of those who have done amazing things with their lives. They do what seemed impossible and make it possible.

The power of a woman is. Be your power. You deserve it.

Share your power story with us! Women need to hear from you!

Namaste’

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group

Aria lives in New York. She is a savvy journalist, model, and my cousin! Read her take on Women Empowerment and give us your feedback. Her words are so honest, and true!

A Call to Action

First and foremost, I want to send a huge thank you to all of the Women who have and plan to participate in The RJ Group’s Women Empowering Women Series. In case you did not know, The RJ Group invited Any and All Women to participate by submitting a video or picture with a written testimony regarding Women (or a Woman) who has Empowered them in some way or another.

There is someone in your life who you have Empowered or has done the same for you. We want to let other Women know (those who believe this cannot be true) that Women can and do support one another in very positive ways. A friend shared that she was told not to trust Women by another Woman. Her response was “you are a Woman, should I trust you?” If we can move forward, let go of the negative, and stop holding on to the past there are so many powerful aspects of life that will be revealed.

Women do so much for one another and more can be done for others. Reach out and support those who need and want it. Simple gestures like a smile, kind words, or encouragement go a long way. Being available to those less fortunate than you means so much. You may have a strong family bond or very close friends. This is not true for so many. The next time you see a Woman you don’t know, say”hi.” This gesture will make a difference in your life and their’s.

Answering this call to action can also be as simple as replying to one of our blog posts, or following the aforementioned request.  It would be a very giving thing that takes about five minutes of your time. You never know if someone else can benefit from your experience until it is shared.

The RJ Group

The RJ Group represents the first initials of my Mother (Jean), Grandmother (Juanita), Grandmother (Rebecca), and Great-Grandmother (Ruth). These Women were raised in a period of time where they had to be very strong and encounter very difficult experiences. I know that we are all stronger in numbers and can build bonds that will help us make it through tough times. Throughout the years, through various means, I have been involved with projects and programs to Empower other Women. It means a lot to believe in and support someone who may have lost hope, or never had any.

The RJ Group will host a series of events and publish materials to continue the Women Empowering Women initiative. Get involved, it only takes a few minutes of your time. After all, we make time for anything that is important to us! What is more important than offering a little of yourself to serve another.

I am Dr. Melanie Magruder (pseudonym Grace Sowtrue). Grace of God is the foundation for all we are and do; and Sowtrue, it is true what we plant (sow) manifests in our lives. Helping one another is a reciprocal process. If you do it, then it will be done for you.

Live your life to the fullest!

Peace and Blessings,

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group

If you have checked out our blog posts then, you are aware of the open invitation to submit information to share about Women Empowering Women. Denise accepted the invitation. She is a wife, mother, daughter, sister, auntie, friend, and all around genuine person. If you want the truth, just ask her. Oh, did I mention that she is sooooo funny! She is a native Washingtonian (me too!), and lives in the DMV (District of Columbia, Maryland, Virginia) area. She lives with her husband, Tom, daughter, and two Yorkies.

I met Denise when her family moved next door to me when we were 5 and 6 years old. We immediately became friends, it was very kindred. She is my God-Sister because we grew up as sisters. Her family is part of my family. We all know each other and have shared life experiences over the years. Denise and I grew apart after High School, and did not see each other for a while. Nevertheless, when we did get in contact, it was as if we had talked the day before. She is a good Woman to know and have in your network.  I can always count on her to lift my spirits higher and also have a good deep sista’like conversation.

Denise empowers other Women through her words and acts of kindness. She is an advocate for lifting people up and not tearing them down. Denise is very close to her mother, sisters, and daughter. She is an Empowered Woman who strives to Empower other Women. I am honored to have known Denise for so many years and I know our relationship will continue to grow.

Denise shared a story with me about a Woman who was once a student of Maya Angelou. The Woman had some life changing experiences that left her with little or no confidence. Denise mentored this Woman, who was able to overcome her obstacles and publish her first novel.  There are countless stories to share because she is always there for others.

Thanks, Denise for being you and never changing. Sometimes after you don’t see people for a period of time, they or you may be different. Not, Denise. Always fun and funny. Very spiritual, and in high spirits. Very honest, and straight forward. I can go on to describe her, but to know her is to love her. She is an Empowered Woman.

Give us your feedback, comments, or questions. Share your story with us, Women need to hear from Women!

Love and Light,

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group

Isn’t it a refreshing experience to hang out and be yourself with Sista’ friends? Having Women friends who allow you to be who you are without judgement, or an opinion (maybe a little) about anything is what Sista’hood is all about.  If you have never experienced this and want to, ask yourself why you haven’t? I bet someone close to you also wants to do this but may not know how. Sista’hood is Boss!

Breaking Down Walls

Many Women have experienced some type of hurt that built a wall It is time to break them down, one brick at a time. Discovering what your hurt is and how to release it and let it go is the best thing you can do for yourself! There are support groups, therapy, and Women who will listen without trying to fix you, but all you to get it all out!

Breaking down the Walls or Barriers to your freedom to be you is a very liberating experience. When you can open up to all of the possibilities in life, especially Sista’hood, one will begin living, not just existing. Free yourself and allow others to see you, because they can’t with that Wall standing in front of you. The view behind the wall is absolutely beautiful.

Coming into the Fold

Sista’hood is a beautiful experience any woman could have. Give yourself a gift and join the many who enjoy spending time with other Women. Whether it is a friend, cousin, sister, mother, grandmother or aunt, they will be here for you. Embrace what life has to offer and come into the fold of love and genuine relationships with your Sista’ Friend!

Laugh, Live, Love

Share laughter, life, and love with a Sista’ or two! Dance, hang out, or just sit and talk! One may never know what beauty and joy this will bring until they try it! Be a Sista’ to someone, Women need each other! They are so powerful and greater in number!

Love a Sista’ today!

Peace & Blessings,

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group

The RJ Group invited Chandra Brooks to submit a video on Women Empowering Women! Listen to Chandra share on the power of Women! She is honest and open about what Women may go through on a daily basis! She is an Empowered Woman!

Chandra is the Northern California Staff Director at SEIU United Service Workers West that represents more than 40,000 janitors, security officers, airport service workers, and other property service workers across California. An organization of 2.2 million members united by the belief in the dignity and worth of workers and the services they provide and dedicated to improving the lives of workers and their families and creating a more just and humane society.

Chandra is also the Vice Chair at the Santa Clara County Commission on the Status of Women. Their mission is “To act in an advisory capacity to the Board of Supervisors to study and investigate conditions which demonstrate discrimination or prejudice because of sex and gender.” The Commission is composed of 15 members appointed by the Board of Supervisors with a term of three years.  All members represent the community at large and should reside within Santa Clara County.

The RJ Group invites all Women to share their Empowerment stories! Women need to hear from Women!

Grace Sowtrue

The RJ Group